Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Why not?

The way I look at it, I spend way too much time on Facebook playing games that are clearly made for children, worrying about if my pet has enough food and trying to save up money to buy that new painting that will go in that spot on her bedroom wall. I don't even have a painting in my OWN room, so really, this is just depressing. I figured a little creative writing might keep my brain from turning into complete soup.

Let me first tell you about myself. I am 32, mother to 5 kids, full time student, undercover crazy person. I was probably always a little bit crazy, but 10 years of changing diapers, cleaning up vomit from hallway carpets, and knowing the theme songs to every major children's program that has come out in the last decade certainly hasn't helped matters.

At first glance, I certainly don't come off as a weirdo.

Just give me 10 minutes.

For example, within a few weeks of starting school to become an EMT, we were shoving old stereoscopes in our ears (I sanitized mine first. I have issues with people's nasty parts touching mine), trying to listen to each others lungs. I was not of the students saying things like "Oh yeah, I can TOTALLY hear that one lung has junk in it" Bunch of ass kissing fakers. You couldn't hear anything. My instructor was walking around listening to people's lungs, looking for people with really loud respiratory infections so we could hear what they sound like. He found 2 women who were sick, and compared their sounds by saying "She is wetter than you are."

Too easy, right?

I immediately burst into a bad case of the giggles and walked to the other side of the room. My teacher noticed, and came after me to see what I was laughing about (he is a VERY good sport). After denying any impropriety for a minute, I finally admitted what I was laughing about. He looked at me for a minute, then laughed and declared. "Oh, I'm gonna like you."

From then on in, I was "that" girl, the one that made the teacher laugh at the idea of comparing the wetness of 2 middle aged women.

I should probably be more mature than that, I shouldn't laugh at the same thing 7th grade boys do, but I can't help myself sometimes. (And before anyone sends hate emails or calls social services on me, NO, I do NOT say things like that in front of my kids.) People in this world make it WAY to easy to make fun of them, and I just want to be a contributing member of society. It's what we all want, isn't it? So this is my contribution. You don't like it? Go on the internet and complain.

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